What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
