..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
