Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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