I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
