i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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