operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
