I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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