Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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