He asked to "fluff my boner.."
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
