Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Randomize
