I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
