Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
