Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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