Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize