I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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