what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize