i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i love accidental penises.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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