my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
