Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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