She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
