i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
