i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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