That's when you crack a 10am beer
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
