That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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