yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
