No awkward lesbian experiences without me
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
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