Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
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