When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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