i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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