please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
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