I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
