Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
