You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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