thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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