There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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