He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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