Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
A bitchslap is in order.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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