I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
