My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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