He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize