Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
