every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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