# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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