I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
