you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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