I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
