question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Rumble strips road head = magical
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
