is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
