I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
i think my cat just said my name.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
