she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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