so explain again why im purple
no
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
