that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
