its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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