Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize