last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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